Almost unbelievably, we’re nearing the end of another calendar year. In previous columns, I talked about mental strategies I use to deal with challenging times, and a “look-for-reasons-to-be-hopeful” approach to keep going when the going gets tough. For my last presidential column, I want to leave you with something I feel is absolute magic in dark times: appreciation.
Not the once-per-year-over-the-holiday table tradition of, “everyone say one thing they are thankful for.” Not even the idea of a gratitude journal or nightly gratefulness reflection – though I know people who swear by those methods, so I’m not going to dissuade anyone from those practices. What I’m talking about is expressing appreciation to others.
When my energy and emotional reserves are depleted, this is the one activity that so far has worked 100 percent of the time to pull me back up. Such actions include sending a note of thanks; leaving a surprise gift or token of appreciation; nominating someone for an award or recognition; sharing coffee, a meal or a treat; and making a donation to a cause that person supports. I don’t know how the magic works, but it works unfailingly for me, even when I do it secretly or anonymously.
An added bonus is that it works in the other direction too, as it lifts the spirits of the person being appreciated. As I was drafting this column, I received an email from someone who had missed a scheduled introductory call with me. The person explained the slip-up, apologized, and said he’d understand if I didn’t want to reschedule. What he wrote next changed my whole day – he said that he appreciates the work that I and my colleagues do and hopes that others appreciate it as well. Voila! The professional and personal anxieties and frustrations I’d been having that day vanished.
I have heard there is research to back up the idea that expressing appreciation increases positive feelings in the person doing the appreciating, but this isn’t a research article. I am already late in getting this article finished, so you’ll have to grant me the dispensation to not provide citations. (If this premise feels false or lacking in evidence, please try it and let me know if you obtain disconfirming evidence!)
In the spirit of walking the talk, here are just a few things I appreciate about Div. 37 members:
- At the most basic level, I appreciate that you are members. Whether dues-paying or not, you’ve made a choice to identify and affiliate with the Div. 37 mission. That is a powerful statement!
- I appreciate your work to help children, youth and families – whether you’re still a student or have been doing this for 30+ years; whether your lane is research, policy, or practice; and whether you focus on a single issue or cut across a range of important topics. Every one of you is important, valued and needed.
- I appreciate all of you who have responded over the years when I send up the “bat signal” to find a family the services they need in a particular city or state.
- I appreciate everyone who’s answered my email asking you to be part of a convention symposium, and everyone who’s been part of a Div. 37 program session I didn’t organize.
- I appreciate all who take the time to post information, resources, funding opportunities and job opportunities to the division listserv, and those who have written for the newsletter or the new Advances in Child and Family Policy and Practice series.
- I appreciate everyone who wears a Div. 37 ribbon at Convention, talks about Div. 37 to non-members or cross-posts Div. 37 postings to other listservs.
- I appreciate everyone who’s served on a Div. 37 task force or as a liaison to other groups.
- I appreciate all of the members who have volunteered to run for or be appointed to a division office, and I doubly appreciate those who ended up serving. (Note that this newsletter includes a list of offices we need to fill in 2019!) Finally, I appreciate the opportunity to have served as your division president this year.