I hope you get to read the November 2021 issue of The Group Psychologist, where Pavani Khera, the recipient of the 2021 Student Award for Outstanding Contribution to Diversity, and Qurat-ul-ain Gulamhussein, who received honorable mention, shared their moving narratives and powerful voices. We are delighted that both Pavani and Qurat-ul-ain have accepted our invitations to serve on the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) Committee. Their reflections reminded me of my own experience as a former international student and as an immigrant with regard to the theme of belonging in a "foreign neighborhood."
A few months ago after reading this New York Times piece about the Buy Nothing Projectopens in new window, I found and joined a Buy Nothing social media group in my neighborhood. Since then, I have been able to know and interact with many neighbors where our connections are strengthened through giving, receiving and sharing creatively.
Likewise, in the group context, an individual member’s sense of “belonging” seems to be bolstered through giving, receiving and sharing creatively. As you may recall, the name of the “Diversity Committee” was changed in 2021 to the “Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging” Committee.” T he word “belonging” meaningfully differs from “diversity” “equity” and “inclusion.” Diversity, equity and inclusion may be at least somewhat externally facilitated (e.g., through a diverse community, equitable access to resources and opportunities, or inclusive procedures and policies). Belonging, however, centers on one’s inner, personal and subjective experience of having a sense of connection with others in a given space. An individual, for instance, can be invited to a party, have equitable access to all the food and drinks offered at the party, and can find others at the party who are similar to and different from them. Nonetheless, the individual can still feel disconnected from all others at the party. Belonging requires but goes beyond acceptance.
With respect to the DEIB committee, our aim is to foster a member’s sense of belonging, connection, and community through celebrating diversity, increasing equity and expanding inclusion. This connection emerges on multiple levels, at the individual, sub-group and the group-as-a-whole levels. In essence, each member needs to be valued and is engaged in giving and receiving support in that space.
More recently, a student shared with me her reflection on the theme of “belonging” in any groups:
For the vast majority of my life, I have been a minority in most settings that I have found myself in. From academic settings, to work settings, to friendship dynamics, to leisure settings, I have always been a minority from a racial standpoint – the only "chip in the cookie," as it were. In my extended family, I've consistently been a minority in terms of the way I think, the experiences I choose to have, and the risks I've been willing to take. For me, the term “belonging” does not just mean someone talking about inclusion. True inclusion and belonging are characterized by a deep sense that one is genuinely a part of a place, a group, or a setting. With that sense comes a feeling of connection. Belonging suggests a feeling of being welcomed and accepted by others without conditions being placed on that acceptance. In a group setting, when true belonging is promoted, all members ideally feel free to be who they are and respectfully state their opinions. This can occur without group members forever living in fear of being judged, looked down upon, or ultimately cast out of the group. These factors combined help to promote and maintain a genuine sense of belonging.”
Reflecting on this theme, Yessi Ouyang, a PhD international student at Fordham stated:
When I think of belonging, I think of three places: where I am – my physical location, where my root is –where I grew up, and where my mind is – the culture that my values align the best with. Physical location definitely matters as it lays the foundation for the acculturation process to happen, though the real sense of belonging might not be directly related to it. It is funny that every time I switch locations, whether it’s going back to my home country for the summer or coming back to the U.S. after the summer, I experience a short period of time that I feel like I don’t belong to that place. When I go back to my hometown, I feel like my friends don’t share the same values and concerns that I have (e.g., human rights and equality). Lack of shared experiences also puts up a barrier to fully understanding each other. Thus, not having a peer group that shares the same value further fermented into not having a sense of belonging. Then, after a period of time of acculturation, I noticed a shift. Things that were of great importance to me before—so important that they could be a deal breaker for a friendship, were slowly placed as less critical. Though I still hold these values very dearly and close to my heart, I acknowledge that there might be a cultural context to these values. Putting all these in a group belonging context, two simultaneous processes happened – I compromised some of my values as less critical for a sense of group belonging, and the group welcomed me more because I started to share a more similar value system with them.
Another reflection I had when talking about a sense of belonging is a balance of give and take, which could be conceptualized as the individual’s role in the group. Whenever I felt like I couldn’t reciprocate the same level of help and care that the other group member provided me with, I was at a point of imbalance, and I started to feel a sense of self-doubt and was not able to locate my role in the group. I would feel like I was not able to contribute. Though the group might be incredibly kind, inclusive, and share the same values as I do, I would fail to feel that sense of belonging since I cannot see my value for the group. I think this feeling of not belonging also relates to the imposter syndrome, as I would feel that I don’t deserve the inclusion the group provided me with. When I was accepting the help and kindness from the group, I didn’t perceive myself as a part of the group but inferior to the group.
As you may know, our division is now developing an Institute, and to date 16 individuals are participating in the Institute. In order to better meet the needs of the Institute participants and to increase their individual sense of belonging in Division 49, I invited two Institute participants, Jamez and Jasmine, to offer their perspective on the meaning of “belonging.”
I do not believe I am alone among women of color, who may often find it challenging to find a sense of belonging within the group context. When joining a new group, we may ask ourselves “What will make me stand out in this particular group?” Will it be my black skin, my coarse and frizzy hair, the way I speak, or my cultural background?” In my own life, participating in a counseling process training group in graduate school was a corrective emotional experience for me where I felt accepted by my peers. Though my group members all have encountered different instances in their lives of feeling isolated o r a sense of “otherness,” we were able to bond through our collective vulnerability. As a Black woman in a world where people tend to label me as “Strong and Independent,” vulnerability can feel daunting and at times dangerous. As a psychology practitioner, I understand that vulnerability is life-changing, connecting, and crucial to change. Group psychologists have the privilege and responsibility of working to aid all group members, particularly those who are of racial and ethnic minorities, in feeling safe, seen, and accepted within the group context."
–Jamez A. Anderson
When thinking about belonging in a group context, I sometimes feel as if I don't belong even though I do identify as being a Black woman. Growing up I lived in a predominantly White neighborhood with both of my parents and I had access to a lot of resources both educational and financial. In my first session in an experiential/training group, many of my colleagues shared experiences of lacking resources and not living in the best community. I often feel left out or unable to relate to them in certain contexts, which conflicted with my sense of belonging. I believe the sense of belonging is a major theme that needs to be carefully looked at when indulging in group counseling. As an aspiring mental health professional, I understand that there may be contexts where I will have to consult on being able to work with individuals from all walks of life, and I look forward to expanding my multicultural competencies as a mental health professional. "
– Jasmine Jackson
In the spirit of fostering a sense of connection and belonging here in our Division community, I would like to post the following questions for us all to get to know our Division 49 "neighbors."
- How has your sense of belonging in any groups–broadly defined–related to your overall sense of wellness?
- If you have joined a Buy Nothing social media group in your neighborhood, how has your experience as a member been similar to or different from being a member of a small group (or therapy group)? How have the dynamics in your group evolved in a similar or different way as compared to any small groups (or therapy groups) you have observed?
As in the past, if you have any reactions or if you are interested in participating in the DEIB Committee, please contact Eric or Aziza.